a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.