Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.