Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (810)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard

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  (540): My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard http://tfl.nu/v78z
  Replies (30) Good night (4175) Bad night (877)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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  (410): guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/rnd5
  Replies (37) Good night (7834) Bad night (1543)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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  (734): Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/qmc8
  Replies (55) Good night (5010) Bad night (1832)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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  (561): I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog http://tfl.nu/8q9l
  Replies (34) Good night (5505) Bad night (845)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5608) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (4960) Bad night (1927)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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  (203): She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places http://tfl.nu/q4g8
  Replies (7) Good night (5609) Bad night (1095)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

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  (414): Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/gou8
  Replies (1) Good night (1415) Bad night (439)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.

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  (813): I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert. http://tfl.nu/diqw
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (667)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
  Replies (0) Good night (1455) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.

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  (443): You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere. http://tfl.nu/84cy
  Replies (7) Good night (1542) Bad night (405)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.

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  (412): Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling. http://tfl.nu/npes
  Replies (11) Good night (1013) Bad night (409)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...

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  (44): Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms... http://tfl.nu/mf8r
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (297)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.

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  (323): He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him. http://tfl.nu/swjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1072) Bad night (270)

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