i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun