So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
