the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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