A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The air was thick with penises
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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