it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I still have a little drunk in my system
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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