these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
