my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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