I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
not ubering you a puppy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
