Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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