Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize