The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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