Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
