She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
