belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
