Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
