You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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