How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
