I seem to have left my pride at pride
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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