she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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