these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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