Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
