He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
