I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
