Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
