It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
