it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
