Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
