I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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