i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
