Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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