It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
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They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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