does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
