Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
