I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
