Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
