Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
