when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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