Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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