Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
