So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
