some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
