Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
