She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
