i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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