plz talk dirty to me
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize