Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
