I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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