I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
