Me. At least after what I've been through.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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