why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
