doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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