C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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