and next time when you feel me up, do it right
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
