is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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