Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
