I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
