Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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