I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
