'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
