I'm so fucking centered right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
