At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
