She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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