# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
