Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
