I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
