Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
