We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
