I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
