I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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