I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
